Ganging up on Mr Crazy
by AmateurHailstone
Summary: Albert Crocker is finally being released...but what happens when the three genies he now possesses collide with a crazed maniac? My first story, review if you want but please don't flame. Chapter three is up!...and I hate it.
1. Uncle Albert's release

**Ganging up on Mr. Crazy**

Chapter 1: Uncle Albert's release

"I can't _believe_ they're actually setting that wack-job free!" griped a sulky 30-year-old doctor, striding huffily alongside his co-worker.

The doctor's companion was a more or less elderly man with snow white hair and a crisp, clean doctor's uniform. Both of them worked at the MIA or Montreal Insane Asylum in Montreal, Canada, which until just recently, housed a genie-crazed maniac obsessed with getting his hands on one of these all powerful beings.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm not sure what exactly was going through their heads either, but unless you want to lose your job I suggest you keep your opinions to yourself, eh." his friend sighed, trying to recall if this was the 43rd or 34th time he had heard this complaint.

This quieted the younger man as he was annoyingly reminded of the time he had almost got the boot.

"I only wanted to see if the crackpot would try to get through the 5 inch plexi-glass wall, behind which sat one of his so-called 'genie lamps'!" he pouted, narrowing his eyes and folding his thin arms.

The elder man just shook his head sadly. "Poor rookie."

Scene changes to a week later (the day of Albert's release)

"Well Uncle Albert, only an hour before you're outta here for good."

The slow, deep voice jerked Albert Crocker back to reality. The speaker was his protective cell attendent who over the years, had taken quite a liking to the Canadian Crocker. So much so, that he had even resorted to calling him Uncle Albert as a term of endearment.

Resisting the strong urge to laugh maniacally, Albert smiled a somewhat menacing smile. He had come to a conclusion--Fake 'em out! Whether you want to believe it or not, Crocker was actually alot less insane than everyone thought. Sure he spazzed quite a bit and it was definitely true that he wanted a genie more than he cared about his own life, but he could still think clearly enough.

_'Fools!'_ he thought maliciously, _'I've finally convinced them that I'm sane enough to be sent back home, (which is good because I think I left the curling iron on) and when I do I'll at last be able to rub those 3 lamps, and prove once and for all that-GENIES EXIST!!!'_ only able to jerk and twitch inside his own mind now, at the risk of being sentenced again, Uncle Albert sighed and slapped on what he hoped to be a sane yet excited grin.

"I know, I can't wait to get back to my log cabin and...erm-NOT even give a thought to...genies...eheh." he started to sweat. _'Oh poopie, that sounded SO obvious!' _berating himself, he peeked at the cell attendent's expession but Albert did'nt need to worry, because the slow-witted attendent did'nt seem to even have noticed his stammering and if he did he refused to show it.

Smiling blissfully, he said "Promise me you'll keep in touch Uncle Albert, I wrote my phone number on the back of your straightjacket. You know they'll let you keep that after your released as a souvenir,"

As the attendent rambled on and Albert pretended to listen as he always did, the MIA's white van pulled up outside. A large, African-American man got out of the driver's seat and a moment later he heard the door close on the passenger's side. A much skinnier man with blonde hair stepped up beside his companion. Usually bearing heavy sedation needles, these two workers were here to take the once presumed crazy Albert Crocker back to his sole cabin in the woods of Montreal-AFTER all the legalities had been preformed of course. Papers needed to be signed and restraining orders were needed to satisfy those who had sued some years before, but after that he was free.

"I can't believe we drove all the way from Dimsdale just to take some walnut home." Whined the blonde man in a nasally and irritating voice. He and his partner were called out to Canada because the usual workers who would've taken Crocker home were sick, and this dynamic duo were the only ones available who could handle the job-plus they had been offered a LARGE amount of cash, which is probably the only reason they agreed to the task in the first place.

"I'd rather be chasing Adam West, that guys **much** crazier--and he still does'nt want to go nigh-nigh!" The bigger man just shrugged his shoulders and replied,

"I still can't get over the fact that they're allowing him to keep his lamps. I mean, even if he is'nt crazy, would'nt that bring about a relapse or somethin'?"

His partner rolled his eyes. "Ahh, who cares let's just get this over with!"

scene changes to a court room where Albert is about to be officially released...

**WHAM!!!!!!! **The judges gavelin broke the awkward silence of the jury.

"Albert Crocker, you are hereby free to go, as long as the rules of the restraining orders are abided by and no more complaints of a loony old guy in a log cabin are filed!"

scene changes again to Albert's cabin with the MIA's white van cruising out of sight...

Uncle Albert stood in his doorway watching and waved gleefully, if only to humor them until they were out of his life for good. Turning back into his modest home, he headed quickly toward the mantle at the top of which glowed his most prized possessions. The golden and traditional lamp of a genie, with the long spout, the crimson bottle corked with a jeweled stopper, and his latest aquired lava lamp who's violet lava bounced jauntily inside.

As he let out a long-denied maniacal laugh, he saw something out of the corner of his eye and let out a gasp.

AGGH!!!! EGAD, I **DID** LEAVE THE CURLING IRON ON...EH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	2. 2 Masterminds and a hippie

Ok, now we can start moving on to the plot so buckle your seatbelts, slap on your shades and get ready to, oh whatever you people get the idea, it's time for chapter two of course.

**Chapter 2: Two masterminds and a hippie**

"Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" the crazed laughter echoed through the woods of Montreal, Canada causing snow to fall from their branches and a local moose heard to stop in their tracks. As soon as he was finished with his little laugh fest, Albert Crocker reached on top of his mantle and grabbed the first genie abode. Holding the lava lamp triumphantly over his head, he declared,

"They let me out of the straightjacket, they pushed me out of that cushy, gray room, and they left me here unsupervised! (suckers) And now, let the whole world know (or at least the moose in the vicinity) that I ALBERT CROCKER, am finally able to rub these lamps that have been kept from me for so long (probably with good reason) and expose the genies within!...GENIES!!!!" Giving one last involuntary spaz for the day, he rubbed the lava lamp.

"Yes, YES! It's working!" He cried jubilantly. The lamp started to float as it glowed ominously. Aqua blue smoke poured almost endlessly through the top. The large sillhouette of a male figure could be seen through all the chaos the lamp was making. It glowed powerfully but swiflty faded into a being that was far less frightening-Norm, the 50,000 year old jerk (who incidentally had it out for Canada...ooh, not good Crockypoo)

Uncle Albert cocked his head to the side, confused. _'Is this what genies normally look like?'_ he thought to himself.

It was definitly a male genie. His curly, black hair was held in place with a golden fez. A pair of stylish black shades covered his mischeivous violet eyes. What he wore for a shirt was an aqua blue uh...kind of a...vest...thing? (oh c'mon do any of you Norm fans **really** know what that thing is called?) Around his middle was just a plain, red scarf and he was'nt wearing any pants because as we all know, genies have tails (well, most of them as you'll find out soon) and in this case, it just happened to be an aqua blue color. (He really likes that color does'nt he?)

The genie scanned his surroundings for a second before his eyes fell on our favorite crazy Crocker, who was staring up at him with a creepy grin on his face. Norm had long since given up hope that someone would rub his lamp and had'nt looked at the insane Canadian for a while. The last thing he remembered of this guy was a straightjacket and a pillowy room, and he had to admit the scenery had drastically improved.

At last remembering himself, Norm grinned a somewhat cheesy grin and whipped out an index card that read 'Genie Intro' on the back.

"Hello 'insert human's name here' I am NORM, the all powerful genie!" As he spoke, a sign apeared above his head reading **'Norm the Magical Genie'. **It was a pretty cool looking sign until the 'm' in 'Norm' swung loose and dangled before completely falling off.

"And for freeing me from the lamp, you get three **rule free** wishes! And-"

"EXCELLENT!!!! They did'nt believe me, they said you did'nt exist but **I** knew better! **I** knew you were real, **I **knew that---GENIES EXIST!" (whoops, sorry people, **that **was his last involuntary spaz for the day...well, maybe not but you all like to read about him spazzing anyway don't ya?)

Norm raised his eyebrows, "Oh boy, I bet your a bundle of fun at parties are'nt ya fruit cup? 'And for the closing entertainment ladies and gentlemen, here to show you what **not** to do on a date, Albert Crocker with his famous imitation of what a shrink can do to you!"

he smirked, "Bet you could get some money that way and buy yourself a bigger house, this place is smaller than my lamp!"

Uncle Albert scowled. He did not like where this was going, that conceited genie was already giving him lip and he had'nt even had time to make a silly and pointless wish...like a giant sandwich!

"Don't start getting all smart with me...er...what did you say your name was?"

eyeroll "Norm"

"Oh Yeah, Norm. **Don't** start getting all smart with me Norm, I can make any wish I want, and my first one could be to make sure **you** wish you were never born!" he vented.

"Gee, if there's anything I like more than a threat, it's a threat thats empty," Norm shot back with ease. Uncle Albert glared at him but dismissed it as he grabbed the other lamp from the mantle, eyes gleaming menacingly.

"Ah, say what you want Norm but maybe THIS genie will listen better and not give me so much cheek eh?" Furiously rubbing the golden lamp, he cackled a high-pitched and wicked cackle.

_'Geez, the weirdo sounds more like a woman than a man...maybe he's a witch, he does resemble Alden Bitteroot...'_ norm wondered to himself as he watched the lunatic rub the lamp as though he was trying to break it.

Dark green smoke poured out of the spout on the lamp, just as it had done with Norm's. Unlike Norm's entrance however, the genie within did'nt appear with quite so much mystery and grace. Infact, as the smoke was clearing, all Uncle Albert could hear was a loud coughing noise.

"Oh MAN, I really gotta get that smoke machine thing replaced. I just spent a fortune on it and its busted already, pouring out WAY more than its s'posed to!"

A man's hand appeared and waved away the smoke until it was all gone. It was another male genie with shoulder-length dark green hair, a short beard just starting to grow, and a little fuzz above his upper lip. Certainly alot younger than Norm, but he was dressed in more of a genie-like garb. He donned a dark green vest that only covered his shoulders, not a back or a front. Around his middle was tied a lighter green scarf which led only to his dark green tail. Over his eyes were round glasses and his eyelids drooped heavily. All in all, Norm thought he looked more like a hippie and belonged in the 70s era.

"sorry 'bout that guys, not the kind of entrance I had hoped for-oh crud, not my hair!!!!" he whined, taking a comb out of his vest and commencing to fix the stringy mop on his head. He snapped his fingers and a hand mirror suddenly floated in front of him. He snapped his fingers again and a black fez materialized in his hand. Gingerly pulling half of his hair back with the comb, the genie clasped the fez into place and smiled at himself in the mirror. It disappeared and he spun around to face the other two, who were staring at him like he had spiders crawling out of his heavily pierced ears.

"What?" asked the genie completely oblivious to the fact that they found odd that he loved his hair that much. Just then, Norm started to snicker rudely and soon he was laughing. Soon, Uncle Albert could'nt contain himself any longer either and started cracking up too.

"What's so funny?" he demanded, propping his hands on his hips and eyeing them curiously. Crocker tried to smooth it over by saying between gasps of chuckles,

"Oh-hehehe--n-nothing-mmph HAHA!" Actually covering his mouth in an attempt to stifle the giggles, he had to prop himself on Norm, who had long since ceased laughing and hastily moved out from under him causing Crocker to fall to the floor. Finally picking himself up, the crazed old man blushed a deep shade of red and sweatdropped when he saw the other two looking at him with arched eyebrows.

"Are you done?" Inquired the other genie, who's name still had'nt been divulged.

"er...yes,"

Good, 'cause I still hav'nt introduced myself yet. Ahem, GREETINGS MORTAL, I AM THE MIGHTY AND ALL-POWERFUL GENIE OF THE LAMP! But you can call me Coxy, short for Coxcomb but I hate that name,"

Norm smirked, "Well, whadya know, the guy's name fits his personality,"

"Huh?" asked Coxy, bewildered once more. "DON'T start laughing again!" he warned holding up his hand.

Albert was so wrapped up in all this, he had almost forgotten about his third and final genie. Grabbing the crimson bottle from it's place on the mantle, he really studied it for the first time since he had aquired it some years ago. It was beautiful, made entirely of scarlett stained glass, and stopped with a hand-cut jeweled cork. Careful not to drop this genie's precious abode, Uncle Albert gently rubbed it.

Instantly, the room was filled with crimson smoke that seemed to wrap itself around them all. He dropped the bottle and as it floated, lightening seemed to flash from inside it. The lights in the room started to flicker and a strange wind seemed to come from nowhere. As if that were'nt terrifying enough, a woman's wicked laugh penetrated the entire house, causing the floor to shake. Suddenly, as soon as it had come, the noise and racket stopped and as the smoke cleared for a third time, they were all able to get a good look at the being Uncle Albert had unleashed.

It was a female genie this time, but she was different-ALOT different. She had shoulder-length, crimson hair that was half pulled back into a fez, like both of the others. She wore a red and dark-purple harem girl's top with short, puffy sleeves that hung around her shoulders by gold beads. Her arm and wrist cuffs were silver, not gold, and they were curvy not straight like the others. She had a belly ring shaped like a lightning bolt and a studded belt that hung down on one side. With all of these garments, she would've looked like a full genie-if it were'nt for her legs. Yes, red jeans that flared out at the bottom with flames printed on the cuffs. As if that were'nt enough, she also wore a fairy's crown that floated an inch above her head and was striped with red and deep purple. (her two main colors) and fairy wings--well, sorta. These were more square shaped and hung about a foot down her back. Though despite all of these things that might have made her look comical, the hybrid was still eerie. Yes she is a hybrid, half fairy half genie, folks.

Her blazing violet eyes rested directly upon the trio and she smirked. Tilting her purple sunglasses down she flew right up to the three and looked them all over before asking slowly and carefully,

"So who was it?"

To be continued...

Me: Ha! Chapter two is finally done!!

Uncle Albert: Aw, c'mon author what the heck is going on, eh? A sarcastic wiseguy, a hippie, and an eerie hybrid are not what I had in mind!

Me: Well, that's watcha get for tricking the insane asylum into thinking you **are** sane.

Uncle Albert: ...you win this round author but I will be back...as soon as I turn off that _darn_ curling iron! stalks off

Me: shrugs shoulders

Anyway, chapter three should be acomin' round the mountain pretty soon so you don't need to be suspended like this for too long, my dear readers!


	3. Coxy's reunion

Darn it, I keep forgetting the disclaimer thing so here it is!

I do not own the Fairly Odd Parents, that would be Butch Hartman. Such characters include Norm the Genie, Uncle Albert, and all those guys that worked in the insane asylum. I do however, own my two genie OCs, Coxcomb and the other who's name will soon be revealed. Now remember, the strange genie-fairy girl just asked the question, "so who was it?" Just to make sure we're on the same page here, people. Oh and also, this chapter gets kind of slow but you need to read it to know whats going on in the next chapter. It's one of those 'essential but could bore you to tears' kind of thing.

**Chapter 3: Coxy's reunion**

The genie's cold eyes bore into Albert's and he started to sweat visibly.

"w-what?" he asked, not quite grasping the question at hand.

**"So who was it?"** she demanded with more emphasis.

"I-I'm afraid I don't really know what you-" but he was cut off when the woman gave an exhasperated sigh and rolled her eyes.

"The **bottle** moron, who was it that rubbed my **bottle**?!" Finally he understood.

"Oh! T-that was me," he replied, cautiously raising his hand. While all this was going on, Norm could'nt help but notice that this Coxy guy was giving the girl a weird look as though trying to fugure something out. Not that he cared much about what was going on, but her little entrance kind of freaked him out for a second. Though you're crazy if you thought he was going to show it. He also noticed that just afew seconds earlier, Coxy had disappeared.

The girl nodded almost imperceptibly and flew back to her original position near the bottle.

"Well, now that we've got that _clarified_, (you managed to kill 3 minutes by the way) I, AM THE ALL POWERFUL M--**ackk!** Hey, what the...?" Coxy had reappeared again, and was now embracing her from behind in a bone crushing hug.

**"MANDI!!!! **HOLY SMOOF, I THOUGHT I'D NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN!!" he greeted her. (so now, you now her name at last)

**"Ack! T-that's great Coxy, now let me go before I either pop or punch your face in, whichever comes first!" **He let her go immediatly and quickly apologized.

"Sorry! But Mandi I haven't seen or heard from you since you left the family for good like, a century ago!" He scooped her into lighter, more loving hug. "You're my big sister and I missed you," Suddenly, Mandi completely lost her evil aura and smiled.

"Aw, I missed you too Coxy, you _and_ Bella but I just couldn't be around mom anymore. You understand that don't you?"

"Geez Mandi, you're talkin' to me like I'm a kid again," he blushed and rubbed the back of his head.

"Yeah well, you _were_ a kid when I--you know I just remembered there's still people here!" they both turned around to fully face the other two who were now engaged in a heated match of 'Go Fish'. Norm looked up with half-lidded eyes and said,

"Oh, are you finished? We were starting to think we had been forgotten about,"

Mandi scowled and Coxy gave a nervous laugh. "uh guys, this is my older sister Mandi. I haven't seen her in years, but I can always tell who she is by her hair," he said ruffling her crimson locks.

She pushed him away, but then smiled slyly. "And I can always tell who Coxy is by _his_ hair!" and completely messing up his carefully groomed head, she watched with satisfaction as he swatted away her hand and snapped up his trusty mirror.

"GAH! DON'T DO THAT!!! You haven't changed a bit Mandi, you're still evil and jealous of my perfect hair!" he accused, repeating the same process with his comb as before. She chuckled.

"That's not the real reason I recognized you Coxy. Let's see, lots of rings in your ears, dull expression, oh and you're still wearing those glasses, Coxy I told you that you needed contacts and your still wearing those goofy things?"

He stared at the floor. "Mom wouldn't let me, she always said I looked cute. And the worst part is, when I finally moved out of mom and dad's lamp, I realized I had grown to kinda like them...sorta," But Mandi had already caught on to the other subject.

"How is mom?" she asked timidly. Coxy suddenly hardened and frowned.

"She's fine. Even _after_ you walked out, though it took a while," he replied coldly. She started to fume without warning.

"So what are you saying, that she **missed** me?! You mean that by some stretch of the imagination she **loved** me or something like that?! Then why didn't she ever show it huh? Why was it that whenever I tried to talk to her, the main words she said to me were, 'you' and 'were' and 'a' and 'mistake'?" With every word she took a step closer and jabbed at his chest with her finger.

Her brother was speechless, Uncle Albert was listening intently, and even Norm's ears had pricked up when she had started yelling.

So with Mandi breathing heavily and Coxy was just staring dumbfounded at her outburst, there was kind of an awkward silence thing going on. Finally coxy spoke once again.

"Ok, I'm sorry man, I didn't mean to set you off like that but _of course_ she missed you! You're her daughter! (admittedly not her _only_ daughter) But you're still her daughter!" This seemed to calm her down a bit and she sighed. Norm and Uncle Albert were still there by the way, no matter how much it feels like their gone. It's just that they couldn't get a word in edgewise with this, especially when they had no idea what the heck was going on. But to Albert, it sounded intriguing and he realized what he wanted his first wish to be. (He'd prove the genie's existence AFTER he found out what was happening)

"Hey er..Mandi! Yes that's right. I've decided on my first wish!" exclaimed the old man.

"Oh, so you can remember **her** name?" Norm muttered from across the room, which earned him a glare from Albert. Mandi rolled her eyes.

"Ooh, he's got his first wish, we should alert the press!" she declared sarcastically. Uncle Albert growled. He had had about enough of these jokers already, this was not what he had bargained for. The sooner he got rid of these guys the better.

"I wish you would tell me all about this little problem with your family! This is too interesting to pass up," She stared at him.

"You want me to tell you about _my_ problems, what are you a shrink? Besides, I don't have to tell you anything-Oh wait, yes I do...crud," And with a **GONG!**, she snapped her fingers (not that she needed to, it seemed like kind of a pointless thing to do) and prepared to dazzle them (or at least tell them) about riveting tales of her past. (No violence, just so ya know)

Too be continued...

Uggh, I told you it was boring. But next you get to hear about when she was a child, told by both her and Coxy, using his hippie lingo to make it more interesting because frankly, this thing is slow. So be prepared for flashbacks folks. I don't like this chapter at all so theres no need to tell me its bad, nobodys in character and I am really _really_ sick of typing!


End file.
